Friday, December 15, 2017 04.15PM / By
Julianne Geiger for Oilprice.com
So, you think
that you know all there is to know about Christmas?
string enough lights on your roof to give Clark Griswald a run for his money.
Maybe you can identify mistletoe and holly in the wild, chop down your own
Christmas tree, and know exactly how many Hallmark Keepsake ornaments they’ve
issued since 1973. You can rattle off all of Santa’s reindeer—backwards,
starting with Rudolph and ending in Dasher, and know all the words to O’
Tannenbaum. Including all the verses. In German. You own White Christmas—which is
indisputably the best Christmas movie ever—on Blu Ray, DVD, VHS, and Betamax
(I’ve included a link if you have no idea what that is). And heck, you even
make figgy pudding on Christmas Eve.
about it, you’re a true Christmas fan. But this Christmas, there is so much
more that you know about, as Santa straps on today’s hottest new technological
St. Nicholas, is stepping up his game for Christmas 2017, and if you want to
hang onto your crown as the biggest Christmas fan ever, you need to be in the
It’s only to be expected, really, that Santa would need a serious upgrade. He
has a lot of running around to do, lots of children to classify as naughty or
nice, a lot of chimneys to climb down, and a lot of presents to deliver. And in
2017, he has come across a solution that is bound to make his life a little easier
Before we go any further, we should make clear exactly what it was that sold
Santa on blockchain technology. It first came to his attention when Mrs. Claus
read about the astounding rise of bitcoin in her morning paper. Santa began
reading around the topic (thinking that perhaps the elves could mine some to
give to the children) and soon realized that bitcoin was just the beginning. It
was the blockchain behind the currency that was the real secret to its success,
with companies in the space such as Global Blockchain Technologies Corp. seeing their stock prices soaring (and who we went to for
help on the technical aspects of how Blockchain works). This was a company that
was not only invested in cryptocurrencies but was acting as an incubator for
everything from new anti-corruption voting systems to highly transparent and
efficient recording tools. Santa saw its potential immediately, adopting
blockchain technology and, as a result, finishing his Christmas preparation
earlier than ever before.
In case you want some talking points with which you can impress your friends at
the office Christmas party (unlike Facebook, it’s okay to refer to it as the blockchain): blockchain
is a way of decentralizing transactional data—data of any kind, including
contract-based data and data about who has been naughty and who has been
nice—so that no single entity regulates the transactions. Instead, everyone in
the network regulates every transaction—like lots and lots of read-only files
that are strung together—no one file can be altered, but new files can be added
by anyone on the network.
That’s good news for Santa, who employs millions of elves to manage his data.
In non-corporate speak, blockchain cuts out the middlemen—like banks and
copious cookie-eating data elves—allows transactions to update instantaneously,
and stops any tampering with earlier records.
The adoption of Santa’s blockchain technology will help Santa to deliver toys
on time and help him to process oodles of data for his naughty or nice list,
manage labor costs associated with maintaining that list, and ensure the
integrity of the list.
Yeah, Santa dives down chimneys and
delivers presents, but what about the other 364 days of the year? Santa is
responsible for keeping track of who is naughty or nice—to the tune of 1.9 billion children throughout the year—an arduous task. This is
approximately six times that of Amazon’s users.
Speaking of enigmas, Santa’s list (a.k.a. the Who’s Naughty Or Nice list, or WNON), is sort of
an enigma. No one really knows how Santa updates that list, or if it even
updates at all—a mystery that Santa has kept on the down low lest the list fall
prey to manipulation by naughty children. But Santa has informed us that long
ago, his list was kept on physical paper (for you millennials, paper is a very
thin sheet of wood pulp used to write on). It was all too easy for previous
records to be altered or even lost, and there were too many elves writing on
different versions of the list all at once—making for an imprecise business. As
technology progressed, the list was eventually moved to a database. But Santa’s
problems persisted as records could still be altered and files corrupted.
Well, no more. Santa’s new blockchain technology allows live, real-time updates
to the naughty and nice list—which is now, in essence, infinitely long and can
keep up with the burgeoning population of children. In addition, Santa’s new
WNON list can never be lost.
Elves On Shelves will now be retrofitted with handheld scanners that write to
the blockchain in real time, bypassing the manual entry of the data elves. And
each record will be its own unalterable record. The result? Santa can instantly
access the network and get a real-time view of who’s naughty or nice, allowing
him to keep tabs on the elves progress as well as plan toymaking accordingly.
This means not only lag-free updates, but also saves millions of
data-elf-hours. The savings can then be passed on to the children.
Elves who once managed databases will be retrained as toymakers to keep up with
the increased demand as Santa steps up the number of gifts each child will
receive as a result of the cost savings.
To recap, Santa’s blockchain WNON benefits are as follows:
requires fewer elves
• WNON can
expand infinitely as the population of the world expands
• WNON cannot
integrity of data
information and elf-oversight from Santa
• More toys for me
With upsides like this, there is no surprise that Global Blockchain
Technologies Corp. and other companies in the space are so eager to become the
leaders of this tech revolution. As a general rule, if Santa is going it, then
it will almost certainly catch on.
blockchain adoption goes behind what it’s doing on the front end of Christmas.
All Christmas Eve/Christmas Day activities will also be part of the blockchain,
including present loading, sleigh tracking (sorry NORAD), and deliveries. Every
step of the way will be tracked, recorded, and monitored as a Rudolph-guided
Santa flies through the night to deliver his floo-floobers and tah-tinkers to
the Cindy Lou Whos of the world.
tech will also ensure the safety of Christmas, as the Grinch is still as worthy
of an adversary as he was back in the ‘50s. Bent on stealing Christmas year
after year, the Grinch is constantly looking for new ways to keep Christmas
from coming, despite his heart growing two sizes. One area that has been
vulnerable in years past is Santa’s email, as the Grinch seeks to delete items
off wish lists and even entire emails. But now, Christmas lists are uploaded
directly to the blockchain, in an unalterable file. What’s more, blockchain
will be the end to misdelivered mail. Who can keep track of all these email
Who’s Who Of Blockchain
among the growing list of pioneering blockchain adopters that are topping
today’s headlines, the likes of which include the Australian Securities Exchange (ASX), Sony, the Russian government, Petroteq, Nokia, Maersk, AMD, Barclays, and behemoth Walmart, to name just a few.
What’s more, almost 57 percent of the world’s big corporations (20,000 employees or
more) are considering blockchain technology, with two-thirds of surveyed
companies saying that they expect the technology to be integrated by end-2018
(a full year behind Santa).
In the words of Steven Nerayoff, Chairman of Global
Blockchain Technologies Corp., “You can
invest in blockchain, you can create blockchain technologies, or you can use
blockchain technologies—but the option to ignore blockchain technologies no
longer exists”. Santa appears to have taken these words to heart, and we
suspect more companies will share Santa’s nose for perfection heading into the
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